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Colonoscopy post July 2017
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alias_sqbr
Mostly for my own future reference. I'm making this public in case other people find it useful, but if you don't have a colonoscopy coming up you will probably find it TMI and boring.

Note for next time: send back the registration form you get with the instructions, oops. They didn't seem to mind, though.

I am becoming an old hand at this, it's still very unpleasant but much less stressful now I know what I'm doing and my lizardbrain is a little less convinced I'm dying. Which is good because I'll be having one every year or so for the foreseable future SIGH. (I have Serrated Polyposis Syndrome)

I have made an effort to eat/drink the foods I'll be having during prep at other times, so they don't get a negative association, and it's worked pretty well.

Prep:


(If you aren't aware- in which case, god help you, why are you reading this?- A "clear liquid" diet for a day, the second half of which is spent on heavy laxatives)

Much the challenge for me is finding green/blue/yellow sweets that aren't citrus flavoured, if you like citrus you have more options.

Foods: Morella jubes, Olympic brand knock off gummi bears (have blue and plain!), Blue Raspberry Aeroplane jelly, ginger jelly, Presha Fruit apple juice, Berri apple and pear juice, Zooper Dooper icy poles (bubblegum!), vegetable and chicken broth. (nb: "jelly" here is what people in the US call Jello)

All the foods were good, but the plainish jelly and broths were the most important since I got sick of sweet and acidic things and needed the nutrition. I drank all 3L or whatever of broth. I made sure to chew something before any broth which helped make me feel less hungry.

As suggested by people online I tried a straw for the especially vile litre(!) of Colonolytely I had to drink but found it easier to just scull it. (nb a litre is about a quart)

I had a long nap the morning prep was to start, which was a good idea. My body gets all tense during prep, even when I haven't needed the toilet for a few hours, so I only got about an hour of sleep. I have at least gotten pretty good at at telling when it's safe to lie down for a while, which means I am much less achey from sitting on the toilet seat all the time.

I killed time with music and podcasts and puzzle games. Hooray for laptops. In general it's important to make the toilet as comfy and pleasant a place to hang out as you can.

I made more of an effort to drink lots of water and have the last of the broth in the period just before the full fast starting, which made it less unpleasant.


The Colonoscopy:

As unpleasant as the period of fasting is (not even any water!) it does mean I didn't need to go to the toilet on the drive after, or much at the hospital. (I always worry about this so am making a note to remind myself it's ok)

This time it was at St John of God Midland. The staff were all competent.

I had to take off everything except my socks and put on a hospital gown, which made me very glad I was wearing comfortable thigh high socks.
I also brought my own lunch, which was good because all they provided was cheese sandwiches.
All my stuff was kept in a little locker by my bed. I spent all the time I wasn't in surgery in the same bed, with access to my stuff. I played on my phone a bit but mostly dozed.
There was a little more fast walking in the wake of nurses than I like but I didn't want to complain since Difficult Patients get treated more badly. They were fine with me bringing my own lunch.

I was a bit floppy when I got out, but had some food and napped and now feel ok. Some of that is that I won't have absorbed my psych meds fully and that makes me a bit hyper.

Recipes, adapted for my intolerances:

Ginger Jelly (needed more ginger):
4cm diameter ginger, peeled and chopped
pinch of salt
a tablespoon of sugar?

Simmer in 1 cup of water for 5 minutes.
Sprinkle 2 tsp gelatine over 1 cup of cold water, then mix in.
Pour in the strained ginger infusion, mix. Cool.

(Last time I remember finding lots of recipes for this, but this time it was all paleo crap with honey, blech)

Chicken stock based on this recipe:
1 kg chicken wing nibbles (biggest packet the shop had, didn't think to use the deli section til after)
1/2 packet baby carrots (500g?)
3 chopped celery stalks
125g chopped mushrooms
1 bunch parsley
handful of chopped onion
dash of garlic oil
pepper
pinch of msg
~1 tsp salt
2L water I think?

Boil for 3 hours. Scrape off the fat once cooled.
Note: The nibbles were relatively easy to pick the meat off.

Vegetable stock
based on this recipe:
1/2 packet baby carrots
125g chopped mushrooms
lots of chopped celery
1 bunch parsley
some random chopped zuchinni
4 chopped red potatoes
handful of chopped onion
dash of garlic oil
pepper
pinch of msg
~1 tsp salt
Enough water to cover.

Boil for 2ish hours.

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